Last night was the end-of-the-year dinner for our staff in Chengdu.
We left work around 3pm and headed to the same reception site where Tina
held her wedding. I was seated at the head table with Lily Dai.
Eventually, the Chair of the Board arrived. Her Chinese name always
escapes my mind. She happens to work very closely with the CEO in
Shanghai. Apparently in the business world, that makes her a big deal.
And yet I kept thinking how no one outside of our company knows who she
is. When she gave opening remarks (in Chinese of course), I kept
trying to picture her as a kid. It's a silly game, then again I'm a
silly boy.
Regardless of my opinion (that she's a person like everyone else), she is important to many people in the room. The HR man (who I'd never seen before--local Chinese HR) gathered many of my colleagues to the stage and they were all awarded for their hard work. It was nice to see the company give back to so many of our best staff who work tirelessly. Tina Lan, who I work closely with, was honored by having her mother deliver a speech to her! Boy I wish I knew more in Chinese than food--but the look of Tina's face explained it all: embarrassed. Her Mom was beaming the whole time. Tina's apparently won best overall employee before, but still, she deserves it. She's got passion for this and has helped me immensely as we've been steering the company in a brand new direction.
Then, to my surprise, the HR man came over to my table and asked Tingting if I had a Chinese name. I don't. Then Tingting said, oh yeah..."you're getting something too, you ready to speak?" Whaaaaaat? I'm kinda sick and tired of getting special treatment just because I'm a foreigner. So the HR man said something in Chinese about one special employee who is different than all the others (I'm not Chinese) and blah blah blah Johnny. Then, the Chair of the Board took the microphone. I stood. Tingting translated to me. This is what I can remember:
Although this is only the third time we've met, I feel I know you. Blah blah blah. I'd heard a lot about you. When ever there is a problem you fix it. Whenever we need something, you try to get it done. Blah blah blah, something about foreigners and things. blah blah blah, good foreigner. Blah blah blah. Please accept this as a sign of our appreciation OR something like that.
So I went to the stage mumbled a "xie xie" (thank you). And then spoke for maybe a minute from the heart, following the advice I had given Lily early; advice given to me from the Maori in New Zealand.
I sat down and then I was nervous as I began to process all that just happened. Her words were really nice and encouraging. This job is ridiculous. I've been pushed further than ever before. I've broken down in safety of my bed room before going to work and after coming home. Trying to help a company grow and see how they can approach everything in a different way is REALLY HARD. Especially when that company is in a 5,000 year old culture. I know that many of the counselors hold back things around me, trying to protect me from things due to my age--and that makes it even harder because I don't know what information I can trust.
And then. Then there's this moment--where I'm standing in way too casual attire at a head table listening to a woman I don't really know praise me in front of the whole Chengdu company--and in this moment I smile. At the time it felt like I was smiling because I was finally being recognized for the sometimes insane things I do for this job, but really I'm smiling and still smiling because I'm proud of myself.
I'm proud that I have made a difference. I'm proud of my work here and I'm most proud that I'm smiling. After returning home for that break, I wasn't sure I would be able to be this happy back here. So New Zealand may have given me some great advice on speeches, fashion tips, and a fresh perspective on life but China's given me the greatest challenge so far by pushing me past what I thought were my limits.
Are you ready for this? I'm GLAD I stayed her for a second year. Even if I doubted that decision as things became more and more tough. When I doubted myself fully--well--you can't go any further. So it seems I've turned around and am headed towards love. Which was, funnily enough, one of my goals for the experience last year: to learn how to better love and accept myself. Of course I forgot about it until now, but that's what makes this all the more special.
So do yourself a favor, go make some cookies. I made chocolate almond chip cookies and they are delicious. Even if you just have a toaster oven, you can make it work. You can make it work with whatever you have, and by it, I mean life.
Love
Johnny
Regardless of my opinion (that she's a person like everyone else), she is important to many people in the room. The HR man (who I'd never seen before--local Chinese HR) gathered many of my colleagues to the stage and they were all awarded for their hard work. It was nice to see the company give back to so many of our best staff who work tirelessly. Tina Lan, who I work closely with, was honored by having her mother deliver a speech to her! Boy I wish I knew more in Chinese than food--but the look of Tina's face explained it all: embarrassed. Her Mom was beaming the whole time. Tina's apparently won best overall employee before, but still, she deserves it. She's got passion for this and has helped me immensely as we've been steering the company in a brand new direction.
Then, to my surprise, the HR man came over to my table and asked Tingting if I had a Chinese name. I don't. Then Tingting said, oh yeah..."you're getting something too, you ready to speak?" Whaaaaaat? I'm kinda sick and tired of getting special treatment just because I'm a foreigner. So the HR man said something in Chinese about one special employee who is different than all the others (I'm not Chinese) and blah blah blah Johnny. Then, the Chair of the Board took the microphone. I stood. Tingting translated to me. This is what I can remember:
Although this is only the third time we've met, I feel I know you. Blah blah blah. I'd heard a lot about you. When ever there is a problem you fix it. Whenever we need something, you try to get it done. Blah blah blah, something about foreigners and things. blah blah blah, good foreigner. Blah blah blah. Please accept this as a sign of our appreciation OR something like that.
So I went to the stage mumbled a "xie xie" (thank you). And then spoke for maybe a minute from the heart, following the advice I had given Lily early; advice given to me from the Maori in New Zealand.
I sat down and then I was nervous as I began to process all that just happened. Her words were really nice and encouraging. This job is ridiculous. I've been pushed further than ever before. I've broken down in safety of my bed room before going to work and after coming home. Trying to help a company grow and see how they can approach everything in a different way is REALLY HARD. Especially when that company is in a 5,000 year old culture. I know that many of the counselors hold back things around me, trying to protect me from things due to my age--and that makes it even harder because I don't know what information I can trust.
And then. Then there's this moment--where I'm standing in way too casual attire at a head table listening to a woman I don't really know praise me in front of the whole Chengdu company--and in this moment I smile. At the time it felt like I was smiling because I was finally being recognized for the sometimes insane things I do for this job, but really I'm smiling and still smiling because I'm proud of myself.
I'm proud that I have made a difference. I'm proud of my work here and I'm most proud that I'm smiling. After returning home for that break, I wasn't sure I would be able to be this happy back here. So New Zealand may have given me some great advice on speeches, fashion tips, and a fresh perspective on life but China's given me the greatest challenge so far by pushing me past what I thought were my limits.
Are you ready for this? I'm GLAD I stayed her for a second year. Even if I doubted that decision as things became more and more tough. When I doubted myself fully--well--you can't go any further. So it seems I've turned around and am headed towards love. Which was, funnily enough, one of my goals for the experience last year: to learn how to better love and accept myself. Of course I forgot about it until now, but that's what makes this all the more special.
So do yourself a favor, go make some cookies. I made chocolate almond chip cookies and they are delicious. Even if you just have a toaster oven, you can make it work. You can make it work with whatever you have, and by it, I mean life.
Love
Johnny
No comments:
Post a Comment