Li River and More!

Meet Jane.

Jane, a good friend of Cynthia's, has been here for almost 4 weeks (which sadly means she will be leaving soon).  I met Jane in my apartment weeks ago.  We made chocolate chip cookies and blasted music.  She's a cool girl.

She wanted to see the Buddha so we went together 2 weeks ago and found the Buddha in sunshine--a real treat.  But the highlight of our one day excursion was a moment of silence a top a monastery that felt so authentic, that I actually decided I would light my first prayer candle in China.  Later on, before our bus back to Chengdu from Leshan, we went to eat some Chinese food at a place with no English/picture menu and were successful in getting food!  Jane, like myself, has been taking Chinese lessons from Lynette.  I started in mid-March and feel like punching myself in the face as I really should have started in October.  I know I didn't start because I felt so stressed with trying to teach for the first time...oh well, live and learn.

Cynthia and Jane headed to Xi'an to see the ancient city one weekend and I stayed in Chengdu, booking our next trip to the Li River.  After successful bookings, I headed over to Ryan's place for a 17th floor rooftop South African braai (BBQ).  The food was delicious and the company were all teachers from the three centers and some Chinese staff.  It was a sunny day and from the rooftop, Chengdu looked...beautiful? (Actually, it's been sunny quite frequently of late; well frequently for Chengdu).  Leon, Alissa, Steve, and I played some rooftop badminton, only losing a few shuttlecocks off the top.

A week later, after the Buddha trip, Cynthia, Jane, and I headed to the airport.  We touched down in Guilin where I bounded out to the lobby waiting to see the sign with my name on it.  But alas, I couldn't find "Johnny" anywhere.  Finally I turned around a disgruntled man was holding up "Johnny".  My excitement at this didn't seem to make sense to him...or Cynthia and Jane.

The trip from the airport was AWESOME.  After a few minutes, large giants were viewable from our windows.  Eventually they were all around us -- finally I was in the land of karst landscapes!  Karst is a formation of bedrock that varies in many ways--but China has some of the most dramatic formations weathered by time.

The next day, we were up and going (sadly without NZ 'Up & Go's) after a quick breakfast at our hostel.  A bus ride later we were boarding a boat on the famous Li River.  The plan: to cruise down to Yangshuo, 70km down the river, passing some very dramatic Karst mountains (Karst is not a proper noun, but trust me, it should always be capitalized for emphasis).

What was visible by night was SO COOL by day.  Cliffs, waterfalls, and sweet green slopes guarded the banks of the Li River.  Needless to say, I'm came back with over 800 photos.  The sky was BLUE, the water a brownish yellow due to rainy season, but it was all good.

We disembarked inYangshuo, what once was a small town, not a bit larger with tourism.  It had grown fast in the past few years due to the attention from Han Chinese, as was previously a paradise away from Guilin for foreigners.  Large karsts surround and intrude throughout the city.  Walking around through the carless alleyways was wonderful.  Eventually our wanderings found us climbing up a small Karst and then up another one!  Great views of the city and larger Karts were our rewards for sweeting up stairs -- it was hot and very humid.

Later, after a nice dinner with a girl from Israel and Pris, or Pricilla, from Hong Kong, Cynthia, Jane, Mary, a French girl wet on the cruise, and I set out to see cormorant fishing.  Cormorant fishing is an ancient practice and from the clip I saw via BBC, I was determined to go watch.  But since the influx of tourism, it seems the practice has changed and was rushed and not well done.  Tourists use to board small boats with the fisherman and his flock of birds.  We were on a fairly large boat.  The birds dove time and time again into the water, eating most of the fish they caught, except the large ones.  A thin string tied around the birds neck prevents the swallowing of bigger fish.  In the BBC clip, it showed the birds returning to the boat and willfully giving up the fish – knowing they’d be rewarded.  In our trip, I watched a fisherman yank out a fish from a choking bird.  It was still neat to know that this harmonious practice exits, but I’d much rather see it a different way (where it actually looks harmonious).

That night, we took Yangshuo by storm starting out at a lovely rooftop bar where we all realized our inability to play pool.  From there we figured out, after a bit of food and some more drink, that it was our responsibility to take each bar by storm, get people dancing, and then promptly leave.  Something about a stripper pole, and then the night was over, after I managed to bang my leg on a fall from a stage.

We left Yangshuo early the next day by bus towards a river in the mountains.  We were to go drifting.  Which is like white water rafting, but without paddles, and the river is made to be super-navigable.  Jane and I climbed into our raft and after waiting in a queue with all the other boats, we were realized down a damn spill way into the river!  I snuck on my waterproof camera, which proved to be a great idea as I attempted to document our ridiculous hour and half journey down the river.

We all agreed it was the best fun we’d had in weeks, if not months.

Back in Yangshuo after a beautiful bus trip through rice paddies that I slept through, we hung out for a bit longer that expected with no buses back to Guilin for a few hours.

In Guilin, we got back to our first hostel and set out to walk around Guilin’s twin pagodas before some restless sleep with a bed bug scare.

Morning arrived finally and, with four other teachers, we found ourselves headed to a minority village.  At the village we viewed the “Long Hair Show” as the women of the village cut their hair once at 18.  They wore it in three different styles depending on their status in life: single, married, or married with child – using their hair that they cut at 18.  They wash their hair with the water used to wash rice, which results in super black hair.  It was interesting, but not the best show I’ve seen.  Lunch afterwards was a bit on the too much fish side with whole river fish fried.

Finally, the main attraction of the day, rice terraces!  We climbed and climbed through some mountains that reminded me of New Zealand and hiked/walked around some terraces.  We were a bit too early for the planting at this altitude, but the terraces were still beautiful.  Carved out thousands of years ago, I couldn’t help but think “ChinaChinaChina”. 

It was a really nice trip, but its fast pace, after life in sleep Chengdu, caught me by surprise.  Thank goodness we returned to a two-day week.

On the weekend, Jane and I explored Wenshu monastery, admission only 5 yuan, which felt very authentic.  Between that and seeing the Li River Kart landscape and rice terraces, I was in a very mixed mood.  I’d finally seen some of the things I came here to see and since AP Psychology, my job energy has just fallen.  Could it be time to go home?

But then I look at the map of China and there’s SO MUCH TO SEE!  This country is officially TOO big.  But, hey, I could always come back.

Class Dismissed

AP Psychology is over.  I have to the best of my ability attempted to teach 31 students psychology as well as an interest for it.  These students don't know this.  Most of them lost interest as second semester seniors.  Some of them turned to their review book in place my teaching.  But, like an energizer bunny, I kept going.

I tightened discipline. I loosened discipline. I included relevant examples. I switched examples mid-sentence when realizing students weren't getting it. I scoured for youtube clips. I graded. I complained about grading. I tried to make disinterested kids learn. I tried to help stressed students calm down.  I tried to hard on some things.  I didn't try hard enough on others.  I let their disinterest get to me.  I recharged on weekends.  I fought.  Students opened up to me.  Students started trusting me.  Some students started to resent me.  I caught myself resenting students.  I beat myself up for their disinterest.  I learned to let go of their responsibility to learn.  I joked with them.  I acted in front of them.  I worked for them.  Some worked for me.  I got bored.  I got too excited to sleep.  I couldn't wait for class to end.  The bell usually came too early.  I was nervous with detailed plans.  I am confident with no plan.  I talked to students after class.  Students talked to me after class.  I wasn't a teacher.  I was a teacher.   Am I a teacher?

Since October 8th (or there abouts) I have been teaching AP Psychology, a subject that is a bit boring, but does contain some wonderful knowledge.  It was a struggle.  Some days were wonderful, others were far less than.  All-in-all, I somehow guided the students over each chapter of the book.  More important to me, I was able to discuss about some things far more important than the book's contents.

I hope what I have done in the classroom has been helpful to these kids bound for the US next year.  I know many of them did not understand much of what I said, so I hope that they do in time.

For me, much of what teachers have said haunts me later with those awful "ah-ha" moments: awful only because if I had only listened then...you get it.  This task of teaching has made me super appreciative for my teachers and all teachers.  It's a tough job.  There's no bonus if the kids learn well except for personal satisfaction and maybe, just maybe, a thank you note--thus you really have to give it your all to pull it off.

Teaching really is one big performance.  And like any self-conscious actor, I wish I had had more practice before it went live.

The AP Exam is Monday at 1:00PM.  Fingers crossed for their study habits.  And if teachers get this nervous/excited about their students growing up and learning to work on their own, I don't know how anyone handles being a parent.  When I confiscate a student's cell phone, I get to go home and not share the same house with them!

So to teachers out there everywhere: I thank you.  Thank you for not giving up, thanks for staying after school and being late for dinner with friends, thanks for making your job a big part of yourself and sharing yourself with your students.

Xie xie!

Life's a Box of Donuts

This is a story of adventure, this is a story of loss, this is a story of love...for donuts.

I have loved donuts since that first donut I ate, which I’d like to say was a Long John probably around the age where it’s closeness to my name made it all the better.  Of course, I made that up, but the point is: donuts are delicious.

In high school, the time where I learned that I had a bit more control over my actions found me behind the wheel of a car headed to Dunkin Donuts on the way to friends late at night every few weeks.  Nighttime was key, especially the time when the workers magically transform your humble request for six donuts into 2 dozen thirty minutes before closing.

Living with four great friends senior year of college found me getting donuts when the task of whipping of French toast seemed like too much work.

But lately, my access to proper donuts has been nil.  Oh China, how you don’t really understand the world of baked/fried goods.  Sure, no one will fight your corner on the stir-fry or the sustainable way you eat so many parts of animals.  But China, I have to be honest with you, what you call donuts—not so great.

On Christmas, I found myself walking out of a Malaysian chain grocery with a sugar donut—the first decent one I had found.  In Hong Kong, I excitedly bought a donut to find it stuffed with red bean paste; bu yao.  So after years (and by years I mean two) of making cookies and cakes, I started watching Youtube recipes for Donuts.  Boy did it look easy!  “What had I never tried this before?”.  Sure frying can be dangerous, so I looked up baked donuts.

Excited, I bounced home, beaming that same smile I wore as a 5-year-old when genius ideas struck—cute, but I suspect always a bit unnerving for my parents. I watched an Aussie make baked donuts and I started mixing ingredients together.  During the 30 min chill time, I went for a run drooling over the though of homemade donuts.  I came back, opened the fridge, and took out the dough.

The dough, which smelled like vanilla and happiness, was quite sticky.  “All right,” I said.  I wasn’t about to give up.  I floured the counter and began to role out dough with parchment paper.  It stuck to the paper.  The dough stuck to parchment paper to the degree that the paper ripped and some of the dough ended up in the trash refusing to release itself from the paper.  I added more flour and the dough seemed better at first, and then returned to the degree of stickiness that bad bakers find in some strange circle of hell.

Frustrated, I washed my hands, leaving much dough glued on to my arm hair and texted Cynthia, a good friend.  She responded, but by this time I was again covered in dough.  Using my rather prominent nose, I dialed her.

“What do you mean extra flour can make things sticky?” I said, bent over a sticky mess.  Remembering recipes where one adds flour until desired consistency (for Giant Cinnamon rolls, etc.), I was not aware of this other property of flour.

But I was determined to make something!  I rolled out the dough with a wine bottle and found some circular objects in my house in true block-party-scavenger-hunt style.  I cut some shapes, though the dough still didn’t want to cooperate.  Eventually I had some strange shapes of dough on a tray in a toaster oven.  Some rolled by hand into circles, some cut, and some donut “holes”.

The oven smelled like a carnival—the unmistakable smell of funnel cakes filled the kitchen.  But when I checked on the donuts, they looked nothing like donuts.  They didn’t brown, they rose strangely, but they did smell wonderful.  I decided to try to fry the rest of the dough.

I filled a saucepan with some oil and dropped some dough in.  Some of them just soaked up oil, some browned.  Trying to save my project turned nightmare, I filled a Ziploc bag with cinnamon and sugar and tossed the fried pieces of dough inside, shaking them vigorously.

Eventually, it was over.  What did I have to show for all my effort, excitement, and frustration?  Baked scones, fried cinna-sugga strangeness, and an hour of scrubbing a countertop to rid my home of evidence of this travesty.  The scones were quite good, dense and light with a great flavor.  But a scone, no matter how nice, is not a donut and never will be.

A few weeks passed and something wonderful happened.  I received a text from Cynthia who found herself and her good friend Jane in Xi’an.  They had found a treasure of treasures: a Dunkin Donuts!  After traveling 712 km via plane, two glazed donuts sat in a Dunkin Donuts bag on my desk at work.

If you’ve seen the movie The Pursuit of Happiness you’ll know what kind of reaction happened—that kind of, let’s go outside and clap my hands and ooze joy for the world to see.  I didn’t know what to do with myself!  After unwrapping the first donut, my eyes widened.  The donut was gone before I had even sung it all the praises I had prepared.  Something’s never change.

Maybe I should be a cop.

Taking Care of Business

Last weekend (which is actually three weekends ago though that doesn’t ring true with teaching on Saturday and Sunday of this past weekend) Cynthia and I went to Beijing for a conference on highly effective teaching.  We left a day earlier to give us a chance to see some sights.  Our plane touched down Saturday afternoon to bluer than blue skies, a rarity in such a pollution-heavy metropolis.

Our first stop: the Forbidden City – the well-known palace of Imperial China moved to Beijing from further South to better rule the tough border with Mongolia.  The palace closes at 3:00pm in low-tourist season and we arrived around 3:35.  Thus, the Forbidden City will remain just that: forbidden.  We were able to walk through two entrances to the South Gate of the palace, the gate that faces Tiananmen Square.  The golden accented roofs atop the red walls gleamed in the sunshine.  No matter how much I pleaded, Mulan would not open the door for me, leaving me quite upset.

We trekked from the palace gate, back to the subway – an impossibly stuffed train.  We found our destination, a backpacker’s, in a “historic neighborhood.”  Zoning laws kept the buildings short and the streets narrow.  The backpacker’s runs trips to the Great Wall, so we paid our dues for the following morning, and then explored the streets on our of way to the hotel.

Exhausted, I found my bed after getting off at the wrong subway stop, having not-so-delicious pizza hut, and shopping for some supplies for our hike.

Sunday found me on my way to the Great Wall in a white van stuffed with laowai!  We all got to chatting immediately; a favorite part of traveling.  After a 3-hour ride, we arrived.  A quick (10 min) climb up some stairs, of course, got me onto the Great Wall! The Great Wall of China…I couldn’t believe it. The section I hiked, Jinshanling, did not look like the white/grey wall often depicted in pictures.  This section was stone, but browner and the lack of contrast in much of the landscape didn’t help it stand out.  The real attraction though was the 2^nd half or so of the hike, where the wall was fully unrestored.   Parts of the wall had no sides along the top and other parts climbed steeply with many broken stairs.  It had snowed the week before and traces of ice/snow were around.  The usual walk goes a bit further, but the next section of the wall was closed so we had to end a bit early.

Along the way, I got to talking and joking with many in our party.  Everyone seemed to be in good spirits—and how could they not be?  It was a gorgeous no-cloud-blue-sky day and we were walking along the Great Wall.  The end came too soon, and I had only snapped a couple pictures (you know, less than one hundred—which is just a couple).  Our guide, Emily –from the backpackers–, encouraged a fast pace which felt a bit rushed.  I took a moment at the end of the wall to pass out some Timtams (NZ cookies found at Carrefour in Beijing) to some of the group and after everyone went down, I took my Great Wall moment and just starred at it, and the mountains behind in the distance.

We returned to the backpackers where Cynthia and I decided to grab a beer with a couple we had met and two other guys.  The couple, from Holland, were wonderfully engaging; she a child psychologist and him an architect. Peking Duck was on everyone’s mind so together with an additional American traveler, we set out to find a place.  Well we found a place, and a backroom table, and even duck—though it wasn’t Peking duck.  Dinner was ridiculous—full of laughter between, what felt like, old friends.  I crack up even thinking about it.

Afterwards, Cynthia and I train-ed to the closed Tiananmen square and then back to our hotel; I’m just not great at seeing that palace area!

Monday, after an interesting breakfast, we met the other teachers and walked to one of the Dipont schools in Beijing for the conference.  It was were nice to hear the experiences of other teachers, though the AQM (academic quality manager) seemed to rush through some discussion points raised that may have been helpful to fully discuss.

Monday evening, Cynthia, Peter, Michael, and myself found Peking duck and more at a restaurant close to the school.  Good company and delicious duck, duck sauce, pancakes and more!  The wasabi cabbage rolls however, proved too much.  The first one I ate, smothered in Chinese wasabi opened up my sinuses in a whole new way---while the second went right to the stomach.  Peter had the sort of stories I hope to have when I’m close to 60 and Michael will be teaching AP Psychology next year in his center.

I returned to the hotel and watched some television in English—a real treat and then slept.

After a morning conference on Tuesday, Ryan, Cynthia, and I found a cab and headed to Tiananmen Square en route to the airport.  Ryan, and his wife Elizabeth, both teach at the A-level (British system) school in Chengdu.  His Chinese was good enough to have us pay the driver a bit extra for him to wait while Cynthia and I rushed around the world’s largest square!  Finally, I got in and walked a fast circle and left.  It is a large square, which about sums it up for me.

On the plane ride back, Ryan entertained us with stories and videos of his travels in China; he’s a bit of a goof.  Made it back home and made sure I was ready for 5 more workdays, as the upcoming holiday meant we had to have a 7-day work week?  China doesn’t seem to fully understand the point of time off, but I do, which is why I was heading to Sanya in Hainan, China’s southernmost province in 5 days for a quick 3-night trip.

Beijing seemed nice, but the 4 days of super-blue sky did not properly represent the city’s image.  I’ve since heard that some schools have indoor recess some days, when the pollution is too high.  That alone, is enough to make me quite hesitant to return to Beijing.

My first business trip was a success, though I lack a good business trip demeanor.  Guess I’m still a kid, which is fine by me.

"the great China adventure"

the tile of this post is a shout out to Into the Wild.  Alex (Chris) also refers to his "Great Alaskan Adventure".  I'm beginning to understand why people adventuring don't usually have books written about them with the sentence "and then he headed back home as it was Sunday night and I have to work to support this lifestyle."  Work and adventuring are not working out as I thought they would.  Perhaps a given of life that I was too naive to notice, but it's been a big let down.  When I think about what I'll be doing a year from today, I am fully clueless!  But if I'm going to live abroad, perhaps I need to go for a 9-5 job or bar-tending or something less career-y.  Studying in NZ was ideal, but I know an experience like that comes once in a lifetime.  But I know there are jobs out there that would leave me feeling more energized rather than drained...

Last night I went to my 4th music concert in three weeks.  It was pretty sweet music with one song with a chorus about California.  Most of the words were in Chinese, which funnily enough, is starting to be a problem!  I've gotten much much better at listening to the lyrics of music here, whereas before China I always just wanted to hear music for music.  Perhaps, I cling to the English that I can hear?  I dunno, but it's been an awesome ride re-discovering my iTunes library.

Jerry organized the trip last night buying everyone's ticket at a pre-sale: it's apparently a more well-known band.  After school, which involved me showing the Holstee Life Manifesto video to my students and, perhaps, ranting about what their next four years could be like (I swear it was relevant to developmental psychology), Cynthia and I met Jerry and a few of his friends at the good ole #30 bus stop.  But the bus didn't come right away and we were late so we called for an illegal car.

A van showed up, you know, the kind that if it gets in a crash everyone dies.  Thin walls, no seat belts, bench seats covered in cloth.  Needless to say it was a very bumpy ride leaving this kid wanting to own a van such as this.  The van took us to Little Bar, the site of 3 of the 4 musical acts I've seen.

The first show I saw was at Hemp Bar, sounds cool, but was pretty boring that night.  The band seemed like a garage band who still thought they were in a garage, not much audience interaction.  Though, there wasn't much audience.  They did cover Blink 182 which was very welcome.

The second show, the next day, was epic-ly awesome.  It ranks up there in shows I've seen.  A Mongolian-Folk/Rock band!  The vocals were fantastic, two guys with some harmonies, throat singing, and yodeling? They had some ehru-like instruments, electric guitar, and an awesome drummer with some beads on his cymbals for a different sound.  I can't find their music anywhere which is upsetting, but if they show up again, I'll see 'em again.  They blew me away.  I was lucky to have my camera on me as Cynthia and I had been to Dafu (the biggest Buddha statue) in Leshan earlier that day.  (It's a HUGE Buddha, which pretty much sums up the experience).

The third show, last weekend, was interesting, which yes, means not as great as the 2nd one.  The opening act was pretty bad, weak singing that didn't really seem to hook anyone in the audience.  The band was better, but much of their music played on their humorous lyrics as judged from the audience's reaction.  Dave, a teacher at a different Dipont school, and his finance joined me and Cynthia for the show.

Finally, last night, the most expensive show so far at 60RMB is ranked 2nd for my Chinese shows.  The guitar rifts reminded me of SO much music and they got the crowd moving, moshing, and crowd-surfing (in this tiny Little Bar).  Their energy was welcome after another long week at school, but with this new schedule, I seem to lack my usual Friday energy.

This band looked as established as the Mongolians (who wore traditional garb) if not more.  The bassist had a tattooed neck, top hat, and long curly hair.  He wore a crazy jacket and lived up to the "bassists are weird" sterotype.  But such a good weird.  The lead singer wore Aviators, had longish hair, low cut black shirt, and a red jacket.  He reminded me much of every 80s movie ever.  Finally the drummer who had awesome hair/style.  A very thick mohawk with shaved sides of his hair, Raybands, and a scarf around the neck: he had the kind of image that would sell a CD.  Their style was established as was their playing: musically they were wonderful.  Their lyrics, or at least, their English lyrics were a bit interesting.  Overall, a fun show with lots of energy.

So, I'm not doing too badly.  I'm getting much better at caring for my house and cooking for myself.  But now I need to work at my social life.  Which is...the first time I've ever had this thought?  This is my first time not at school where you are constantly surrounded by peers and friends.  In real life, you talk to a stranger at a bar and form that first acquaintance, and you may never see then again, whereas in college or high school, you're bound to run into them.  Now add the fact that not many people here speak English, and a social life becomes slightly frustrating, especially, when during the weekend, I'm exhausted from the week!

However, one of my goals for this experience has been to spend more time with myself and, I have to say, this time is paying off.  Do I miss living with others? You betcha, but that whole school thing I've been doing since I was a wee thing never really left me much time to myself.  Nor does my typical extroverted self crave this time.  And as balance became important to me in college, I still feel I need more of this time, even if much of it coming by default rather than choice.

All in all, what I've learned from this experience I hope to use to help me pick my next one. As long as I remember that I will care about my job no matter how stressed it makes me, that I am capable of spending time with myself, but do prefer social living conditions, and that I have to sometimes schedule in time to relax and stick to that plan, then I think things will get even better!

Fun Even Without the Sun (It's Friday!)

It's Friday!

I apologize if any part of Rebecca Black's single just started playing in your head.  But hey, it IS Friday.  So I blogged about how much stress there is in my job and then guess what? All the stress is gone!

Okay--no, not really, not that good.  But it is Friday, which feels good.  I'm at work about to start planning out Monday AND Tuesday's lesson (cuz I was a bit more on top of my work this week).  I just picked a band "Time Reversal" to see tonight at a bar called Hemp House.  ALSO, last night I got to talk to Katie, the head of Dipont fellows.  The company lacks some communication and Chengdu is very much far away from the other centers, so people did not really realize that there was a Dipont fellow here.  Oh well, that's okay, problem is solved and some of my bosses have said some really nice things about me for sticking through the 4 months of no contact with the greater structure.

I'm left feeling a bit stronger as I have been working in independently since October.  To my credit, I did try to reach out but didn't have the right names to e-mail.  Now though, I am connected to the network of fellows and Katie will be checking in with me every week.  It sounds like every center has some trouble, but that's to be expected as the rate of change in this country is so fast.  I also feel better because I've gotten some things done.  The work is not over and teaching Psychology is very much getting in the way of my other duties, but I'm about to start teaching developmental psychology on Monday and really can't wait.  The kids have figured out I have a background in acting...not sure how the figured that out...lol.

Today is also great because I took a 40 min piano break after my 7:30 college session.  And that always feels good.

 I have believed for years that I am able to determine my own happiness.  Part of that skill is choosing what to focus on.  No, it doesn't mean flat-out ignoring everything that bothers oneself.  It involves tracking down chocolate chips and coconut flakes and making cookies.  Or, buying a mop that is the COOLEST mop I have ever owned.  (I made a fantastic decision this week that a 200RMB mop was worth it.  Never again shall I clean my floors on my knees; I shall use technology!  And seriously, this mop feels very high-tech.  The mop head rotates and after dipping it in the water you can place it in this cup-like structure and as you press down, it SPINS!  Essentially I've purchased an 80s cleaning montage accessory.)

And this is all great news: I can become excited about buying a mop!  A simpleton maybe, but hey, it brought smiles and childlike laughter to my tired-looking face; the same laugh when I ride my bike.  Gosh, I may be holding on to all these responsibilities, but I'm still me.  Sure, I felt stuck and do during the week with all my time seeming to belong to others, but I'm making that choice.  I choose to do 110% for this job because I do care.  There, I've said it, it's out there for all to see.

The best part? I'm in China.  I forget this in all the stress through the week and then end up spending my weekends not taking advantage of this wonderful opportunity.  But not tonight.  Tonight I'm going to my first live show to see "Time Reversal" a pop/rock Chinese band.  I don't know anything about them, but I bet, if I keep this feeling, it's gonna be great.

So I have a choice, and I'm gonna choose to be happy.  If this experience keeps being stressful and I keep being able to rise above it, then this will be really what I came here to do.  To push myself and learn how to better cope with the stress of the kind of life I want to lead: fast-paced and a bit ridiculous.

Wishing you all a merry weekend.  Go do something fun!

Teach, Work, Sleep

Let me start this entry off with: Life is good.  It is good.  Or perhaps, it will be good.

I am beyond stressed at work.  I don't want to write this entry, I'd rather skip it and wait until it's all good again.  But this is the beginning of the second and half week of craziness.  Did I have a good rest of break? You betcha and I'll write about it later...should I ever find the time.  Still have way to many pictures to edit, though I finally managed to get the ones of Jiuzhaigou online.

So the stress...

My job changed.  This new job doesn't feel very similar to my one last semester.  For living in a place that prides itself on moving slowly like its pandas, I am moving at NYC speed x 12.  This semester I teach a college workshop every morning I teach (M, T, R, & F).  Which means getting up at 6:40, eating a banana, drinking a glass of water, brushing my teeth, putting on some pants, shoes, and biking like a madman to school.

You know that Jackie Chan film with the awesome bike stunts? Yeah, I'm getting good at 'em.

Once at school I race up the 5 flights of stairs, rip open my bag, button up a shirt, and grab my college notebook.  I head to a room (I rotate through all the rooms each week) and boom, I start.

After my 30 min workshop, I mix oats and yogurt together  (kept at school) and eat them too fast as I slush back OJ.  If you know me, then you know this is NOT my ideal pace of life.  Yes I can run fast, but not like this, not with a rushed breakfast.  Get up earlier you say? Ah-ha! But you forget that often I'm up planning lessons until bedtime.

I'm still teaching AP psychology.  Now 9 periods over 4 days, means every class is at least a double.  On Friday I don't teach until the afternoon, so I spend the time after my college workshop sulking about lack of proper sleep and wishing I had a place to sleep at school.  Not ideal.  I'm still no better at planning lessons, but now thanks to new responsibilities have even less time than before.

I now am very much an assistant college counselor, if not a college counselor.  My boss's boss showed up last week for a visit (a boss of a boss I didn't know I had).  She helped Jane (the counselor assigned to my school) and I prepare materials--brand new materials.  Brand new materials that I had been working on all last semester!!!  Would've been nice to a.) have some help or b.) know that much of what I was creating already existed.  Don't get me started.  Regardless, her visit helped Jane and I make a whole new plan for this semester.  I'm excited that I've helped make chance, but honestly, too exhausted to really care.

Also now in my college counseling duties, besides the morning workshops, is meeting with every Senior 2 (junior) student and their parent....at lunch.  With about 15 meetings a week or so.  Now when my principal made the schedule, he figures our lunch hours are "off" but mine are going to be "on" but due to the scheduling of a staff meeting and activities, the earliest I leave is 3:00 on Monday and the latest I leave is 6:20 on Tuesday and Thursday.

Recap, up at 6:40 -- leaving later in the afternoon.  Sure, not all the time is in a classroom or a meeting, which means the rest I spend trying to plan for the hope that one day when I go home, I won't have to work.  Has yet to happen.

BUT-- there is a small light here.  Activities.  Although they are more work, I now run a music club on Tuesdays and lead a story theater ensemble on Thursdays.  My music club has yet to take its form as last Tuesday was our first meeting.  I started it off with Adele--as I discussed the Grammy's.  For tomorrow, they are supposed to bring in their favorite song.  I've heard they'd like to change the club's format and that's great--if they have a change.  It seems often Chinese students (perhaps many high school students?) want change, as in, they're not happy with the way thing are.  Usually, they don't have a better way though.  What did Gandhi say?  Regardless I'm very open to their ideas and crossing my fingers they have some!

Story theater last Thursday was AWESOME.  After being exhausted (spent way too much time downtown at the office on Wednesday), I somehow found the energy to "shake up the space" with my students.  Story theater and I first met my sophomore year in high school at Piven theater in Evanston (yes, Jeremy Piven is related).  It was a quick love as it combines story-telling with improv, what's not to like?  My 9 students were a bit hesitant, but by the end of our first session (90 mins) they were beginning to "find the stories".  This means, they were able to use their physicality in exercise to generate original impromptu stories.  I was very impressed with them and cannot wait until Thursday.

My weekend was nice, but all I wanted to do was sleep.  I promised myself, probably a similar promise to many Vassar grads, that I would never be in a job that I didn't like.  Well this past week and half has been very very trying and I keep thinking of that promise.  What's funny is, I want all the responsibility and I enjoy being in the classroom and talking with the students about college.  My schedule though is so split that I have 2-hour blocks of nothing where I feel like going home isn't worth it and thus stay at the slow Internet school where it's hard to get my lessons planned.  Hopefully the schedule will change, but the future looks bleak.

I keep reminding myself though that I want to take a Chinese class, but can't find the time.  I want to explore Chengdu, but can't find the energy.  Yes, I do go out on weekends, but I'd rather have the energy for a day outing than a night one.

The worst feeling for an adventurer is to feel stuck.  It scares us.  But here I am feeling quite glued down.

It's 9:43 PM.  I'm exhausted and just got home from a meeting at school about a  student that wants to switch programs and have no tangible plan for tomorrow's class.  The bags underneath my eyes mean I'm going to be reckless and go to sleep instead of planning.  Damn, it's a good thing I can think on my feet.

Hoping for a miracle at work to give me the time I seek to do the things I came here to do.