It's Friday!
I apologize if any part of Rebecca Black's single just started playing in your head. But hey, it IS Friday. So I blogged about how much stress there is in my job and then guess what? All the stress is gone!
Okay--no, not really, not that good. But it is Friday, which feels good. I'm at work about to start planning out Monday AND Tuesday's lesson (cuz I was a bit more on top of my work this week). I just picked a band "Time Reversal" to see tonight at a bar called Hemp House. ALSO, last night I got to talk to Katie, the head of Dipont fellows. The company lacks some communication and Chengdu is very much far away from the other centers, so people did not really realize that there was a Dipont fellow here. Oh well, that's okay, problem is solved and some of my bosses have said some really nice things about me for sticking through the 4 months of no contact with the greater structure.
I'm left feeling a bit stronger as I have been working in independently since October. To my credit, I did try to reach out but didn't have the right names to e-mail. Now though, I am connected to the network of fellows and Katie will be checking in with me every week. It sounds like every center has some trouble, but that's to be expected as the rate of change in this country is so fast. I also feel better because I've gotten some things done. The work is not over and teaching Psychology is very much getting in the way of my other duties, but I'm about to start teaching developmental psychology on Monday and really can't wait. The kids have figured out I have a background in acting...not sure how the figured that out...lol.
Today is also great because I took a 40 min piano break after my 7:30 college session. And that always feels good.
I have believed for years that I am able to determine my own happiness. Part of that skill is choosing what to focus on. No, it doesn't mean flat-out ignoring everything that bothers oneself. It involves tracking down chocolate chips and coconut flakes and making cookies. Or, buying a mop that is the COOLEST mop I have ever owned. (I made a fantastic decision this week that a 200RMB mop was worth it. Never again shall I clean my floors on my knees; I shall use technology! And seriously, this mop feels very high-tech. The mop head rotates and after dipping it in the water you can place it in this cup-like structure and as you press down, it SPINS! Essentially I've purchased an 80s cleaning montage accessory.)
And this is all great news: I can become excited about buying a mop! A simpleton maybe, but hey, it brought smiles and childlike laughter to my tired-looking face; the same laugh when I ride my bike. Gosh, I may be holding on to all these responsibilities, but I'm still me. Sure, I felt stuck and do during the week with all my time seeming to belong to others, but I'm making that choice. I choose to do 110% for this job because I do care. There, I've said it, it's out there for all to see.
The best part? I'm in China. I forget this in all the stress through the week and then end up spending my weekends not taking advantage of this wonderful opportunity. But not tonight. Tonight I'm going to my first live show to see "Time Reversal" a pop/rock Chinese band. I don't know anything about them, but I bet, if I keep this feeling, it's gonna be great.
So I have a choice, and I'm gonna choose to be happy. If this experience keeps being stressful and I keep being able to rise above it, then this will be really what I came here to do. To push myself and learn how to better cope with the stress of the kind of life I want to lead: fast-paced and a bit ridiculous.
Wishing you all a merry weekend. Go do something fun!
Friday, February 24, 2012
Monday, February 20, 2012
Teach, Work, Sleep
Let me start this entry off with: Life is good. It is good. Or perhaps, it will be good.
I am beyond stressed at work. I don't want to write this entry, I'd rather skip it and wait until it's all good again. But this is the beginning of the second and half week of craziness. Did I have a good rest of break? You betcha and I'll write about it later...should I ever find the time. Still have way to many pictures to edit, though I finally managed to get the ones of Jiuzhaigou online.
So the stress...
My job changed. This new job doesn't feel very similar to my one last semester. For living in a place that prides itself on moving slowly like its pandas, I am moving at NYC speed x 12. This semester I teach a college workshop every morning I teach (M, T, R, & F). Which means getting up at 6:40, eating a banana, drinking a glass of water, brushing my teeth, putting on some pants, shoes, and biking like a madman to school.
You know that Jackie Chan film with the awesome bike stunts? Yeah, I'm getting good at 'em.
Once at school I race up the 5 flights of stairs, rip open my bag, button up a shirt, and grab my college notebook. I head to a room (I rotate through all the rooms each week) and boom, I start.
After my 30 min workshop, I mix oats and yogurt together (kept at school) and eat them too fast as I slush back OJ. If you know me, then you know this is NOT my ideal pace of life. Yes I can run fast, but not like this, not with a rushed breakfast. Get up earlier you say? Ah-ha! But you forget that often I'm up planning lessons until bedtime.
I'm still teaching AP psychology. Now 9 periods over 4 days, means every class is at least a double. On Friday I don't teach until the afternoon, so I spend the time after my college workshop sulking about lack of proper sleep and wishing I had a place to sleep at school. Not ideal. I'm still no better at planning lessons, but now thanks to new responsibilities have even less time than before.
I now am very much an assistant college counselor, if not a college counselor. My boss's boss showed up last week for a visit (a boss of a boss I didn't know I had). She helped Jane (the counselor assigned to my school) and I prepare materials--brand new materials. Brand new materials that I had been working on all last semester!!! Would've been nice to a.) have some help or b.) know that much of what I was creating already existed. Don't get me started. Regardless, her visit helped Jane and I make a whole new plan for this semester. I'm excited that I've helped make chance, but honestly, too exhausted to really care.
Also now in my college counseling duties, besides the morning workshops, is meeting with every Senior 2 (junior) student and their parent....at lunch. With about 15 meetings a week or so. Now when my principal made the schedule, he figures our lunch hours are "off" but mine are going to be "on" but due to the scheduling of a staff meeting and activities, the earliest I leave is 3:00 on Monday and the latest I leave is 6:20 on Tuesday and Thursday.
Recap, up at 6:40 -- leaving later in the afternoon. Sure, not all the time is in a classroom or a meeting, which means the rest I spend trying to plan for the hope that one day when I go home, I won't have to work. Has yet to happen.
BUT-- there is a small light here. Activities. Although they are more work, I now run a music club on Tuesdays and lead a story theater ensemble on Thursdays. My music club has yet to take its form as last Tuesday was our first meeting. I started it off with Adele--as I discussed the Grammy's. For tomorrow, they are supposed to bring in their favorite song. I've heard they'd like to change the club's format and that's great--if they have a change. It seems often Chinese students (perhaps many high school students?) want change, as in, they're not happy with the way thing are. Usually, they don't have a better way though. What did Gandhi say? Regardless I'm very open to their ideas and crossing my fingers they have some!
Story theater last Thursday was AWESOME. After being exhausted (spent way too much time downtown at the office on Wednesday), I somehow found the energy to "shake up the space" with my students. Story theater and I first met my sophomore year in high school at Piven theater in Evanston (yes, Jeremy Piven is related). It was a quick love as it combines story-telling with improv, what's not to like? My 9 students were a bit hesitant, but by the end of our first session (90 mins) they were beginning to "find the stories". This means, they were able to use their physicality in exercise to generate original impromptu stories. I was very impressed with them and cannot wait until Thursday.
My weekend was nice, but all I wanted to do was sleep. I promised myself, probably a similar promise to many Vassar grads, that I would never be in a job that I didn't like. Well this past week and half has been very very trying and I keep thinking of that promise. What's funny is, I want all the responsibility and I enjoy being in the classroom and talking with the students about college. My schedule though is so split that I have 2-hour blocks of nothing where I feel like going home isn't worth it and thus stay at the slow Internet school where it's hard to get my lessons planned. Hopefully the schedule will change, but the future looks bleak.
I keep reminding myself though that I want to take a Chinese class, but can't find the time. I want to explore Chengdu, but can't find the energy. Yes, I do go out on weekends, but I'd rather have the energy for a day outing than a night one.
The worst feeling for an adventurer is to feel stuck. It scares us. But here I am feeling quite glued down.
It's 9:43 PM. I'm exhausted and just got home from a meeting at school about a student that wants to switch programs and have no tangible plan for tomorrow's class. The bags underneath my eyes mean I'm going to be reckless and go to sleep instead of planning. Damn, it's a good thing I can think on my feet.
Hoping for a miracle at work to give me the time I seek to do the things I came here to do.
I am beyond stressed at work. I don't want to write this entry, I'd rather skip it and wait until it's all good again. But this is the beginning of the second and half week of craziness. Did I have a good rest of break? You betcha and I'll write about it later...should I ever find the time. Still have way to many pictures to edit, though I finally managed to get the ones of Jiuzhaigou online.
So the stress...
My job changed. This new job doesn't feel very similar to my one last semester. For living in a place that prides itself on moving slowly like its pandas, I am moving at NYC speed x 12. This semester I teach a college workshop every morning I teach (M, T, R, & F). Which means getting up at 6:40, eating a banana, drinking a glass of water, brushing my teeth, putting on some pants, shoes, and biking like a madman to school.
You know that Jackie Chan film with the awesome bike stunts? Yeah, I'm getting good at 'em.
Once at school I race up the 5 flights of stairs, rip open my bag, button up a shirt, and grab my college notebook. I head to a room (I rotate through all the rooms each week) and boom, I start.
After my 30 min workshop, I mix oats and yogurt together (kept at school) and eat them too fast as I slush back OJ. If you know me, then you know this is NOT my ideal pace of life. Yes I can run fast, but not like this, not with a rushed breakfast. Get up earlier you say? Ah-ha! But you forget that often I'm up planning lessons until bedtime.
I'm still teaching AP psychology. Now 9 periods over 4 days, means every class is at least a double. On Friday I don't teach until the afternoon, so I spend the time after my college workshop sulking about lack of proper sleep and wishing I had a place to sleep at school. Not ideal. I'm still no better at planning lessons, but now thanks to new responsibilities have even less time than before.
I now am very much an assistant college counselor, if not a college counselor. My boss's boss showed up last week for a visit (a boss of a boss I didn't know I had). She helped Jane (the counselor assigned to my school) and I prepare materials--brand new materials. Brand new materials that I had been working on all last semester!!! Would've been nice to a.) have some help or b.) know that much of what I was creating already existed. Don't get me started. Regardless, her visit helped Jane and I make a whole new plan for this semester. I'm excited that I've helped make chance, but honestly, too exhausted to really care.
Also now in my college counseling duties, besides the morning workshops, is meeting with every Senior 2 (junior) student and their parent....at lunch. With about 15 meetings a week or so. Now when my principal made the schedule, he figures our lunch hours are "off" but mine are going to be "on" but due to the scheduling of a staff meeting and activities, the earliest I leave is 3:00 on Monday and the latest I leave is 6:20 on Tuesday and Thursday.
Recap, up at 6:40 -- leaving later in the afternoon. Sure, not all the time is in a classroom or a meeting, which means the rest I spend trying to plan for the hope that one day when I go home, I won't have to work. Has yet to happen.
BUT-- there is a small light here. Activities. Although they are more work, I now run a music club on Tuesdays and lead a story theater ensemble on Thursdays. My music club has yet to take its form as last Tuesday was our first meeting. I started it off with Adele--as I discussed the Grammy's. For tomorrow, they are supposed to bring in their favorite song. I've heard they'd like to change the club's format and that's great--if they have a change. It seems often Chinese students (perhaps many high school students?) want change, as in, they're not happy with the way thing are. Usually, they don't have a better way though. What did Gandhi say? Regardless I'm very open to their ideas and crossing my fingers they have some!
Story theater last Thursday was AWESOME. After being exhausted (spent way too much time downtown at the office on Wednesday), I somehow found the energy to "shake up the space" with my students. Story theater and I first met my sophomore year in high school at Piven theater in Evanston (yes, Jeremy Piven is related). It was a quick love as it combines story-telling with improv, what's not to like? My 9 students were a bit hesitant, but by the end of our first session (90 mins) they were beginning to "find the stories". This means, they were able to use their physicality in exercise to generate original impromptu stories. I was very impressed with them and cannot wait until Thursday.
My weekend was nice, but all I wanted to do was sleep. I promised myself, probably a similar promise to many Vassar grads, that I would never be in a job that I didn't like. Well this past week and half has been very very trying and I keep thinking of that promise. What's funny is, I want all the responsibility and I enjoy being in the classroom and talking with the students about college. My schedule though is so split that I have 2-hour blocks of nothing where I feel like going home isn't worth it and thus stay at the slow Internet school where it's hard to get my lessons planned. Hopefully the schedule will change, but the future looks bleak.
I keep reminding myself though that I want to take a Chinese class, but can't find the time. I want to explore Chengdu, but can't find the energy. Yes, I do go out on weekends, but I'd rather have the energy for a day outing than a night one.
The worst feeling for an adventurer is to feel stuck. It scares us. But here I am feeling quite glued down.
It's 9:43 PM. I'm exhausted and just got home from a meeting at school about a student that wants to switch programs and have no tangible plan for tomorrow's class. The bags underneath my eyes mean I'm going to be reckless and go to sleep instead of planning. Damn, it's a good thing I can think on my feet.
Hoping for a miracle at work to give me the time I seek to do the things I came here to do.
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